Normally, I am not the type of person who talks about their children constantly. Sure, I love my kids. I think they’re awesome. Slightly insane but definitely made of awesome! Of course, I know, there are few people besides my husband and I who really care. Yet, writing this blog is part of discovering who I am as a person & artist. My children are a HUGE part of that. When something BIG happens … well it just sort of takes over ya know?

My munchkin had an appointment to get a cast put on today. At least that is what they told me on Monday when I made the appointment. We were looking forward to it because this meant Ryan wouldn’t need to be babysat as much. The splint allowed for too much movement. We were constantly checking on swelling. I slept with him to keep him from laying on his arm or hurting himself when he flailed about in his sleep. This basically means, I haven’t slept since Saturday night. I’m horrible at sleeping already Sometime around 8am this morning, my husband was called and informed that not only was the appointment moved up an hour and a half but since Ryan would be under anesthesia for it, we needed to make sure he wouldn’t eat or drink anything beforehand. This was all news to us. We were under the impression there would just be a cast and we’d be on our merry way. Scott calls back to find out why everything has changed and wants to know if we should be worried. You know, because whatever it is they say is going to make any new worry go away? They say that at his age, bones knit very quickly and that we waited a bit to get him in. There is a concern he may have to have his bones re-broken. Scott is quite obviously frustrated when he relates this to me over the phone (he was on his way to work) and said flat out: “He’ll be there as soon as you want him, just tell us when, as we took the soonest appointment we could get.” They say: “Can you come right now?” Scott whips the car around and heads home to pick us up.

Maybe it’s because I’ve seen my baby fly away on a helicopter before and wondered if he’d survive. Maybe I’m just a SUPER worrier. Maybe these people are jerks. Whatever it is, I am instantly freaked out. Just what is going to happen here? We leave our oldest to be picked up by my in-laws. Despite all best laid plans, my horoscope was right and there was miscommunication. We got it figured out but of course being eleven and alone at home while his brother is randomly off to who knows what freaked the poor kid out. We get there and patiently wait for forever. Doesn’t matter what is happening to you (anywhere in the US) if you’re going to the doctor … you’re waiting. We see him & he breaks the news. My baby is going into surgery. WHAT???? Yeah.

Can I just say that I am really tired of being taken by surprise when it comes to my children’s health. Yeah, work on that universe. OK, thanks, Kelli –

He may need to have his bones re-broken. He will definitely have to have his elbow re-aligned. He may need pins. He’ll go under anesthesia and we’ll see what will be necessary. Really over this. We met a lot of really cool nurses. Discover little green army men in all the potted plants and try not to freak out. Munchkin is terrified about the pins. Can’t think of anything else as you can see in the above photo.

Surgery goes remarkably quick. Re-broken bones, no pins, elbow aligned just fine. He’s in a super splint. Watching him come out of anesthesia reminds me of his stint at Children’s Hospital six years ago. I wanted to cry. No. I wanted to weep. He was pasty and his eyelids were swollen. He’d be crying because when he woke up, he was in pain and afraid. When he saw us walk in (once again Scott gets there first) he really began to cry in earnest. He said “I missed you” and then broke down. His IV pain meds wore off before the oral ones kicked in and I just have to say, I am sooooooooooo tired of watching my children cry when there is nothing I can do to help. I know this is futile thinking and I have many years ahead of me to endure just this. I just don’t care. I hate it so much. He was in pain and I wanted to cry right along with him.  Most days I can forget just how unfair being a parent is. How you work so hard to protect and mold your children in to good human beings, and then something happens to blow all your hard work out of the water.

We’re home now. It was an exhausting day. I didn’t feed my neighbor’s cats or water two other neighbor’s plants. My house is a mess. My hair is even worse. Of course my baby is home and he’s on the mend. Hopefully, this is it. Hopefully there will be no more surprises. If there is, I give up. I’m moving to Hawaii, growing fat(ter) & making my kids live in bubbles.