I have been focused. This year has been a series of leaps for me and we’re only a little more than a quarter of the way through. I can see where I want my journey to go. I wake up in the middle of the night and reach over to grab the random thoughts journal and scribble whatever revelation I had mid dream. Sometimes it’s unintelligible. Once in a while it’s brilliant. Most times, I think it’s a big waste of time. This morning I awoke to a note to myself. “Remember What You Love. Let go of everything else.”
It’s exciting when you find something you love. That’s how I felt when I met my husband. I still get excited when I know he’s on his way home. From the moment he leaves in the morning I feel that despite all my obligations, errands and even irritations with him, inside all I am doing is waiting for him to come back home. Each time we brought one of our sons into the world, I found love again. You would think that I was a crazy person, staying up hours in the middle of the night just to watch them sleep. Nearly 12 years later, I still do.
I love photography. I love picking up a camera and capturing something someone didn’t know was there. Even more so, I love picking up a camera and capturing exactly the truth of the moment. I love reading about photography, learning about photography, hearing about photography. I read sooo many photography blogs. I stalk flickr, twitter, pinterest, and every other place you can think of just so I can see more, new amazing photography. I drink it in the same way I drink in my children, my husband, life.
This year my focus has changed and I discovered I love sharing my loves with the world. As scary and as daunting as it may be, there is nothing more satisfying than when someone compliments me on my loves. My handsome sons, my crazy husband and my art. That being said, it’s like a knife to the heart when they say something bad. Luckily for me, not a one of my loves have yet to get any really horrible reviews. At least not from anyone who could cause any heart knifing situations.
After a morning of happy mothers contacting me to tell me about one of my loves, I spent the sort of gray, kind of rainy afternoon basking in the glow of the compliments and snuggling with one of my other loves. We watched as his older brother rode his new skateboard (his newest love) and laughed and laughed and laughed. Today was a wonderful day for me. I spent the day thinking about what I love and letting go of everything else. I plan to do more of that.